With the modern age come different problems. Now, many people are asking whether cybersex is a new addiction. And rightfully so, since many people already seem to suffer from it.
Here, we will go through every part of this addiction, how it may affect people, and we will check out some ways of treating it.
What Is Internet Sex Addiction
What is cybersex addiction? Internet sex or cybersex addiction is a sub-category of much broader online fixation. There are five specific categories or types of internet addiction besides cybersex, and they include cyber-relationship, net compulsions, information overload, and computer addiction.
We all know that the internet is full of porn and other sexually explicit material. But viewing these websites is not a problem per se. Many people watch porn regularly, and it is perfectly fine. The problem occurs when this type of behavior becomes an addiction or when the internet user experiences a loss of control.
This type of sexual behavior can affect both men and women. But, there are a couple of differences. Most commonly, men will become addicted to porn and cybersex. Women, on the other hand, enjoy erotic chat rooms more. Regardless of the type of sexual activities, addiction can lead to serious problems in one’s life.
Cybersex involves web-cameras or online chat rooms, and the couple will discuss their wishes and kinks and often enjoy themselves on camera.
Usually, their family members will notice the difference, and it can also have an impact on someone’s intimate relationship. But what is the difference between someone who enjoys watching porn and someone who is addicted? The most important difference is that the addicted person doesn’t necessarily enjoy doing it. At least not as much as they’d like to.
However, they still have to do it (almost as if they had no choice). It can also have an impact on their jobs and proper functionality during the day. They are often not able to do anything else than think about porn, and their jobs and relationships can suffer in the process.
Signs That You’re Addicted to Cybersex
The first step towards battling addiction is admitting that you have a problem. But how can you know whether you are just a casual porn admirer or a true addict? There are a couple of signs that may help you understand more about your habits and determine if you have a problem at all.
Firstly, we should address the difference between porn and cybersex. Cybersex or computer sex is a form of virtual sex between two or more people. They can exchange messages, photos, videos, or anything else to have a sexual experience together.
The first sign of cybersex addiction is spending an alarming amount of time in chat rooms with only one goal — to find a cybersex partner. Furthermore, being compulsive about finding a partner is also considered a sign of addiction.
If you are anticipating the next “session” and expecting that you will find gratification, satisfaction, or arousal is another red flag. Moreover, users who frequently use anonymous communication as a way of engaging in their sexual fantasies are also potentially addicted to cybersex, especially if they don’t engage in the same behavior in real life.
For all of those in relationships, hiding this form of sexual behavior is a bad sign. It is not rare for a person to feel guilt or shame once the “session” is over. Also, it might be a warning sign. Finally, a person invested in cybersex might experience a significant loss of interest in real-life partners. They could start preferring cybersex over the real deal.
Effects of Internet Sex Addiction
As with any other type of addiction, it will affect not only you but the people around you as well. Primarily your friends, partners, and family. The majority of cybersex addicts prefer virtual sex to the real thing. In over 60% of cases, sexual activity is limited to the virtual world. In other words, they completely neglect their partners’ needs and desires.
Upon discovering the addiction, their partners admitted that they felt hurt, betrayed, jealous, abandoned, and so on. It is also one of the major factors and the primary reasons for divorce.
Besides having a lower interest in relational sex, the partners of people suffering from this addiction kept comparing themselves to online people and pictures they post. Cyber affairs can be quite emotional, and it can become difficult to lead a normal life when something like this happens.
Naturally, the spouses of people with cybersex addiction will suffer the most. They can lose the connection with them, and it can often lead to a divorce. If the couple has kids, internet infidelity will affect them as well.
Similarly to other forms of addiction, the person will be unable to function properly in other aspects of their life. They may lose their jobs, for example.
Treating Cybersex Addiction
But how can you deal with this addiction? Is there a way to overcome this problem? Battling any type of addiction is not easy, and the person will have to go through a tough time if they want to become better. One of the first steps is, of course, admitting that there is a problem. Once the person understands that they are addicted to internet sex, they will have an easier time fighting their battle.
The most obvious solution would be to visit a therapist. There are excellent therapies for couples, and both of them will have to go through this together. Since the addiction is affecting both parties, individual therapy might not be enough. We already mentioned that the partner of someone with this addiction would experience low self-esteem. So, the treatment will be able to help both of them.
But even if you are not willing to take this step, talking to your partner can be quite helpful. They need to understand that they are addicted and that their sense of shame and guilt is something you can defeat together.
People with compulsive sexual behaviors will often deny that they have a problem since admitting will cause them even more shame. Ideally, their partner will stand by their side and help them feel less alone in the process. Once they address the problem, the best option is to go full “cold turkey” and delete any type of sexual content from their PCs, flash drives, or any other types of storage.