Is sexting all about dick pics and “let’s fuck” messages, or is there more to it? If you’re a total newbie, this guide to sexting with your partner will show you what you need to do!
What Is Sexting?
On the surface, sexting is fairly self-explanatory. It involves the exchange of sexually suggestive texts, pictures (nude or almost nude), or videos. While sexting, two people can exchange images, tease each other with texts, share sexual fantasies, and much more.
It could be as basic as a brief recounting of a previous sexual act (e.g., “I can’t stop thinking about the way you came inside me last night, that was really hot”). What’s more, it can be a long and steamy sext that you could type out for your partner to turn them on or make them orgasm. Sexting can also include voice messages, emojis, and other creative methods to make your partner horny. For example, you can make a “getting ready for tonight” video of you playing with yourself or some sex toys to tease your partner until they come home.
In a way, it’s a new level of phone sex, and it’s not just about sending dick pics. Sex therapists claim that it’s a great way to explore intimacy with your partner if you’re in a long-term relationship.
1. Establish Ground Rules
When it comes to establishing rules, sexting should always be done with permission. If you’ve never tried it with your partner, hold off on sending unsolicited pictures until you both agree on it. It could catch your partner off guard, put them at an inconvenience if they’re at work, or even insult them.
You should talk about why you want to try a sexting session and how you’d like to explore it. Also, discuss the things that are on and off-limits. If you just want to send a spontaneous and sexy selfie or flirty text, asking for consent can be quite simple. For example, you could say something along the lines of “I just snapped a selfie in the shower — wanna see it?” Couples could also come up with some safewords or slang to say what’s off-limits.
2. Take It Slow
There’s no reason to rush things while sexting. Like we’ve said, it can sometimes put your partner off guard, and they may not end up enjoying your dick pic, no matter how big or hard you are. Sexting can be a great way to flirt and add adventure to your relationship. It’s the ideal foreplay, and it’s all about the increase in tension. As mentioned, you could start with a suggestive question or an opening line and let your partner know that you want to play.
3. Enjoy the Tease
There’s no need to rush it and reveal all your cards immediately. For instance, you could spend a lot of time exchanging messages about what you want to do to each other. You could say something like “Thinking about what I want you to do to me tonight, and I’m going crazy.” What’s more, you could also send award-winning clothed or partially-clothed photos to tease your partner with your body parts. Remember, sexting should be playful, and you should both go along with the story and stay in your roles while chatting.
When sexting is better than real sex. Read here
4. Push the Boundaries
If you’re comfortable with moving forward, you can continue with some more intense dirty talk, nude selfies, videos, and voice clips. Use your words to paint the fantasy that you’re exchanging. You can ask for nude selfies and then comment on your partner’s body and tell them what you want to do to them. What’s more, you can also give instructions to your partner on what they can do while fantasizing about you. This all depends on whether or not you want to sext to orgasm or simply drive your partner wild before meeting them in bed.
5. Be Playful
If you’re uncomfortable with sharing your fantasies with your partner in person, you can try to talk about them while sexting. This is especially true if you have intimidating and highly kinky fetishes. On the other hand, you shouldn’t judge your partner if they open up to you about their fantasies.
Another way to be playful is to use emojis and swap them out for some words. Check out an emoji sexting guide online if you want to learn how to sext. For example, if you want to say, “I can’t stop thinking about you sucking my cock,” swap out the word “cock” for the eggplant emoji. It could also seem much more complementary if you include drooling emoji, fireworks, or similar.
6. If It’s Not Working, Say the Safe Word
You can use a safe word to indicate that it’s time to stop. One way is to use words for colors like yellow, orange, or red to emphasize what’s off-limits. Another is to use a random word or phrase that sticks out. For instance, “stop,” “no,” and “safe word” are obvious choices. However, it may be easy to misinterpret them while texting. It might be better to use recognizable terms like “Beetlejuice,” “Pineapple,” “Ed Sheeran,” and so on.
This Is the Right Time to Try Out Different Things
Currently, we’re in the middle of a worldwide pandemic. Due to many regulations, lockdowns, and safety concerns, most people are unable to meet someone new or visit their long-distance partner. It’s been a lonely year for many people, but sexting could be a way out for you if you’re craving sex but don’t want to put yourself at risk.
It’s a safe and socially distanced way of remaining sex-positive. If you’re sexting with a long-distance partner, just use our senior sexting guide. However, if you want to meet someone new, try to be extra careful. You’ll never know who’s on the other side and whether or not they’re legit. The best way to stay safe would be to use reliable apps and never jump into things quickly. If you meet someone, have a couple of regular conversations before sexting. If possible, share a video call so that you can verify the other person’s identity.
Ultimately, sexting is the perfect way to tease your partner and connect with them while you’re away. It’s becoming a big part of sex and relationships, and you should definitely experiment with it. Have fun sexting!